I never thought I’d grow up

This is not a complaint. This is not a cry for help. This is not meant to depress you. Its…just an observation, something you can relate to. 

Writing can be a hazardous exercise in the sense that someone can & will interpret your words in the complete opposite tone in which you meant it. 

I have to admit that the thought of what I just said above, has often stopped me from putting pen to paper or facing my computer, more often than I’d like to admit actually… That and having no inspiration, really. 

That being said, I’ve recently had a surge of creativity, which I know is happening when I start mentally writing something before putting it on paper. 

Last month was uhh…hmm…well…I mean I turned 29 mid-June, and like clockwork, I started thinking about the past & future. I’m quite the nostalgic person, as you know. 

And there was one overwhelming thought throughout all my overthinking:

I never thought I’d grow up” 

Not in a morbid, I thought I was going to die kind of way. More like damn, adulting just ain’t working out

It’s not easy for me to write this, and I really hate to seem like I’m holding on to the past (I’m really not), but I just haven’t been able to find a balance.

A balance meaning since 18 years old, I’ve felt like “things” have just been going downhill. 

I don’t really know how to explain it without sounding like I’m going through something. It’s mental, it’s a feeling I’ve had for a long a** time. What it is not, however, is me indirectly asking for help, so relax. It’s social commentary.

If anything, it’s some growing pains that have been kicking my ass for a decade + but I mean I’ve been taking the beatings you know? We all have, so it’s all good 🙂

1 Comment

  1. I totally relate Theo. A nostalgic person I am too Theo. I look back often and really miss a good part of my past. And I would love to go back to it and live some of the unique, beautiful and unforgettable moments I had with my beloved ones. But that is it, a wish that can’t become reality no matter how strong and deep I want it. I had to grow up -not only physically- and live the adult life which isn’t always what I thought would be which is also Ok. Life comes with its many ups and downs which is also very OK and normal because yes that is life. I mean real life. Life with its beatings. Yes, beatings we all have like you say. Beatings that are part of the process of living. Happy Birthday again Theo! Let us celebrate the beatings for they are what make us to be who we are. And without these beatings, life would be very boring isn’t it? Allez, a tres bientot!

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